Time Doesn't Stop

Today I sat beside a friend's watering hole, soaking up the sun and listening to nature- no other people around and nothing to distract me. I had the time and ability to sit down and really think. I came upon many subjects, some appropriate for public and some not so much... But one thought brought me to a new realization about my service. It's something I've been told time and time again, but it's never really sunk in until now. Just because I am here, it doesn't mean that time has stopped back home. Now if you're reading this and not currently a member of Peace Corps, you're probably saying "Duh!" And yes, when I think scientifically, I realize that time still passes in locations that I am not currently present. But let me rationalize this out anyways...

When preparing to leave home, I knew I was leaving for 27 months. I also knew that 27 months felt like an eternity, but it was my little eternity. I was the only person leaving for this journey and plenty of people said 2 years would be over before I realized it. What I didn't realize (or I guess what I was in denial about) was that my friends' and families' lives would keep moving. For some reason, I had it in my mind that I would leave for 27 months and then go back home and everything would be the same. Like when you start daydreaming in the middle of a conversation, and about 30 seconds later you come to your senses and still get the punch line of the joke your friend was telling. Sure you missed a little bit of it, but you were there for the important part. I thought I could slip right back in where I left off.

I'm 8 months into my service, already about 30% done. It feels like just yesterday that I came to Namibia with no idea what I was doing with my life. But, in that time I've already missed so much back at home- One of my closest friends married the love of her life in Hawaii. My sister found out she was pregnant and is now almost halfway through making the next little badass to our family. My best friend, Heather, got engaged to her best friend/boyfriend of almost a decade. My Deb is finally becoming Mrs. Tortelloni. I've missed 8 birthdays (Poppa's, Meredith's, Lena's, Morgan's, Linda's, Nini's, Stephanie's, and Michelle's). Holidays have come and gone without me. I missed like this entire season of Scandal. Taco Bell has these new 'Boss' nachos I don't even understand. And that's not the end, I still have another 19 months of things to miss ahead of me!

In all seriousness though, I finally get it. I'm not going to be able to slide back into the spot I left behind. My friends and family won't be in the same place where I left them. But I also understand now, that I won't be the same person as the one that said goodbye and hopped on a plane all those months ago. I've changed in ways that I think only this experience would have produced. I have new priorities and goals, I'm truly figuring out what I want in life and how to get it. I've made a whole new group of friends who have inspired me to reach deeper and try harder to be a better person. I have met people who made my previous problems seem so small and irrelevant. I've learned to be thankful.

Am I sad that I've missed time with the people I care about the most? Absolutely. But time keeps on moving whether I like it or not, so I should at least make the most of it. For every moment or big event I miss with family and friends, I need to make a difference or memory here. When I get back, I can share my experiences over the past 27 months with my loved ones and they can share theirs. I'll be there for their next big moment- like weddings, birthdays, and new additions to families. Or for just the regular old daily life things, like waiting in line at Starbucks together. Time didn't stop, but we still have plenty of life to enjoy together.