Mail Call

I think every Peace Corps volunteer knows that receiving a care package from back home can easily make your week. Whether it is filled with snacks, keepsakes, or gossip- it is always a welcome distraction and something to get excited over and/or possibly celebrate by posting pictures to facebook and making other people jealy. I've been lucky enough to receive quite a few packages so far (and I am always excited to get more *hint hint*) but I wanted to think of a way I can send some love back. Since it's not exactly feasible for me to send packages back to the states filled with Namibian treasures- like Nik Naks, shitenges, and little bottles of red sand- I thought a post card might be just cute enough to send to y'all.

So if you are interested in getting an adorable Namibian post card, complete with my 5th grade level handwriting, just send me an email with your address. My email is pcvmegan@gmail.com

I promise everyone who sends an email will get a post card, but it may take anywhere from like 6 weeks to 6 months. I will probably blame that on the mail services here losing it or something, but in reality I might just forget about it and procrastinate about making the 10 minute walk to the post office. Don't hold that against me yo! Just be thankful when it arrives, obviously.




PS- I may sign it 'XOXO Gossip Girl'. Because who hasn't always wanted to do that?!? #reasons

Fresh Start

So many feels saying goodbye

So remember how I causally mentioned some big changes were going to be taking place soon in one of my previous blogs? Well... I changed sites, projects, and my overall outlook on my Peace Corps experience. As I write this, I am sitting in the sun room of my new flat in my new town. (And I'm also listening to Jason Derulo's 'Trumpets', but I don't think that has much to do with this post.)

I was previously placed in a relatively large town near the capitol, with a project who lost funding prior to my arrival. After a few months of trying to turn the project around, secure funding, and come up with new project ideas, it was quite clear to me that none of it was working. I'm not one to easily give up on things, but quite frankly I didn't move 7,500 miles away from home to teach computer courses. I can barely work a computer myself, much less teach others how. Unfortunately, I began to feel rather hopeless.

Luckily PC headquarters listened to my plight and allowed me to suggest another site for placement. After a few weeks of going thru red tape, I was moved Monday. I packed up all of my belongings (which have grown exponentially) and my kitty and arrived in the middle of the Kalahari. Not only do the project opportunities here seem endless, but I also have a rad roommate who I adore- Julia. You can refer to my previous posts which go into detail about how I think we are soulmates. And I'm sure there will be plenty more examples given in future posts.

#nofilterneeded

But back to the main point of this post... This site instantly feels like a much better fit; like it's right where I should be. I have an incredible amount of freedom here to shape my project around what interests me most. The community is very vocal about what they need. And luckily, Julia has tapped into a great group of activists who are working hard to better their town and are very supportive of projects. Although I will basically be repeating a 3 month integration period, I will be able to form a project of my very own that combines my areas of expertise and what the community needs. All while being surrounded by red sand and endless hills. How lucky am I?

 

Frustration Station

It's hard to readjust your life day-by-day, preparing yourself for what you may or may not experience at any given moment. Coming back from a week with all of my PC buddies was tough. Not only did I catch the flu and a sinus infection, but I also had to get back into the swing of things at work and my site. It should be a simple transition, right? After all it's what I've been doing for the last 3 months without many problems. But what I figured out, after feeling frustrated and exhausted for days, was that it is not so simple. The hardest part about coming back was transforming into a different version of myself. 

When I am with my fellow volunteers out of site, I can be the honest version of myself. No one is there to judge me or reject me. I can easily express my thoughts and opinions without any hurdles. I don't feel guarded in any way. In contrast, in my community I am juggling many barriers which lead to me being a different me. The most easily pinpointed is the language barrier. Although I can understand a great deal of Afrikaans, I cannot express myself fluidly when speaking with people. I don't have the vocabulary to explain my complex feelings about bell peppers or the presidential race back in the states. (Trust me, it takes some time and work to get through those emotions.) So I end up having simple, short conversations where I agree to things I would never normally accept. 

They get me

Another major barrier is cultural. There are many strong, powerful Namibian women who are leading examples of female empowerment in this country. But there is also a deep sense of traditional patriarchy amongst the population. A liberal, single woman like myself often gets condescending and downright offensive questions. Like, "Why are you not married? Why do you not have children? What are you doing with your life?" And sometimes these are even followed up with more offensive remarks like, "Eish my dear, you are not a real woman. You are wasting your life and no one will want you when you are old." If I had conversations like this maybe once a week, I could probably brush it off. But when I hear the same thing multiple times a day, it really breaks me down. 

My only sanctuary sometimes

The worst version of cultural clash is the sexual harassment I experience on a daily, almost hourly basis. I cannot walk down the street without being cat-called multiple times. Sitting next to a man in a taxi almost always leads to the inevitable conversation where he asks me out for a drink and requests my number. The worst is when the men get physical- touching my hand or grabbing my arm. I even had a man yank my ponytail last week while trying to get my attention to his absurd pleas. After damn near snapping on him, his only response was, "I like your body. You should thank me for my compliments, not turn away from me." It's honestly sickening. 

These overwhelming emotions inevitably lead to frustration. I get frustrated with the people around me. I get frustrated with myself. I get frustrated with the whole world sometimes. I guess when I entered into this journey, I thought the challenges would be more physical. Like how to live without hot water and adjusting to a new diet. I didn't realize all of the emotional boundaries that would be crossed. This experience is really chipping away at me. I don't know if that is a positive or a negative yet. Am I being chiseled down to the truest version of myself and learning inner strength? Or am I slowly losing what makes me me? 

A week away keeps the crazy at bay

No filter needed

As you may have noticed, I have been slacking on my blog posting duties. I am sure all of my followers (mostly meaning my grandmother) have been super disappointed not to have the latest update on my fabulous life. Not to worry though, I'm about to jam as much of my last week of adventures into this post as possible.

Last week, I had the privilege of joining my fellow Group 41ers at a conference called Reconnect. The name implies exactly what took place, we reconnected and discussed our separate experiences over the past 3 months at site. We also had some boring  informative presentations over various topics related to current and future projects. It was so lovely to meet up with everyone else and see their smiling faces once again. Although hearing about how stellar their projects had been going gave me a pang of jealousy, I was able to muster my way through and accept that I am where I am. As they say, comparison is the thief of joy. (I don't know who they are, but they seem fairly smart.)

We stayed in a pretty janky hotel, i.e. no locking doors and pipes as loud as a foghorn. But the view was spectacular. We were up in the mountains overlooking Windhoek and it felt like we were on top of the world. Very Titanic-esque. At one point I even attempted to keep up with my training for the 10k and run up and down the hills, but that only ended in an asthma attack and a deep sense of embarrassment. Oh well, exercise has never really been my thing.

'Let's hope we don't die' face

After a week of classes and avoiding the ever-present bees, a large group of us loaded up in our pre-arranged combi and departed for Swakop for The Lucky Star Marathon. You know how it feels to visit a spa after months and months slaving away at your desk job? Well that's exactly how it felt to arrive in Swakop. I was instantly refreshed with the smell of salt water in the air and the promise of exciting events to come. But first I just had to make it through the death that was my upcoming 10k race...

We did it!

I will say that although I was really dedicated to my training regimen leading up to the race, I had slacked off majorly in the 2 weeks directly prior. The asthma attack while trying to run at Reconnect was also not very good at boosting my confidence. But I got up at about 4:45 in the morning and put on my colorful Nike gear anyways. Too late to turn back now. Since I've never done any form of a race before and I don't think I have even run a timed mile since 6th grade, my goal was just to finish the race.  And I did exactly that. I wasn't even last! (Even though some dude with his kid in a stroller definitely beat me.)

Some of those crazy
full marathon people

After I finished my race, I was able to cheer on my fellow beastly volunteers who submitted themselves to the torture of a half and full marathon. I am so impressed with these guys, I don't even know how to explain it. Once we all finished up and began limping back to our bungalows, it was time for the fun to begin. First order of business was delicious food in our bellies. We went to a lovely restaurant directly on the beach where we could enjoy noms and a view. Even though I hate sand, it was refreshing to walk barefoot along the beach. At one point I did get soaked by a rogue wave, but I made it through.

Definitely not staged...

After a romantic dinner with my lady lover, Sinthu, (plus Yen and Jatin) we moved on to the real fun. It was time to go to the one bar where all the white people/tourists congregate to dance in circles and fist pump the night away. We were also celebrating Kaan's birthday, but that's not nearly as important. (Jk, love you kid.)

I had a glimpse of this place the last time I was in Swakop, but the culture shock returned in full force when I was there again. My version of culture shock consists of uncontrollable laughing and my hands waving in the air. It's not the worst way to deal with the craziness around me, but I should probably learn to pull myself together before I get back to the states and have a meltdown in Target.

Anyways, we showed off our best moves and I even paid a ridiculous sum for Appletinis that came with sparklers in them. (Totally worth every penny, btw.) Because we were all basically walking zombies by 11pm, we called it an early night and returned back to our cozy bungalows. I snuggled in next to Sinthu and let the sleep sheep take me away.

The next morning was a whirl of movement, everyone trying to get packed up and ready to depart to our various locations around the country. After a fully satisfying brunch complete with 2 iced coffees and cheesecake to-go, I cried just a little as I said goodbye to my dear friends. The girls and I loaded up in an unmarked vehicle and headed towards Hardap. We passed our time on the ride by discussing all of the highlights of our trip and who had a crush on who. Typical lady behavior.

I arrived back at site with my heart full of happiness. Not only because I am surrounded by the best group of peers I could have imagined, I was also happy to be home and able to immediately get pantsless and binge watch Parks and Rec. It's amazing how you can feel so isolated at site, but then you realize after a week of non-stop human interaction you need your space too. I was happy to return to my kitties, who really didn't care whether I was home or not.

Over the next few weeks, there will be some big changes taking place. I'll wait until they are official to fill you guys in. For now, I'm going to embrace my current situation and figure out how to celebrate my birthday week. A chocolate dipped ice cream cone is a given, but maybe I'll head into Windhoek for some sushi as well. Who knows? The world is my oyster.