Time Doesn't Stop

Today I sat beside a friend's watering hole, soaking up the sun and listening to nature- no other people around and nothing to distract me. I had the time and ability to sit down and really think. I came upon many subjects, some appropriate for public and some not so much... But one thought brought me to a new realization about my service. It's something I've been told time and time again, but it's never really sunk in until now. Just because I am here, it doesn't mean that time has stopped back home. Now if you're reading this and not currently a member of Peace Corps, you're probably saying "Duh!" And yes, when I think scientifically, I realize that time still passes in locations that I am not currently present. But let me rationalize this out anyways...

When preparing to leave home, I knew I was leaving for 27 months. I also knew that 27 months felt like an eternity, but it was my little eternity. I was the only person leaving for this journey and plenty of people said 2 years would be over before I realized it. What I didn't realize (or I guess what I was in denial about) was that my friends' and families' lives would keep moving. For some reason, I had it in my mind that I would leave for 27 months and then go back home and everything would be the same. Like when you start daydreaming in the middle of a conversation, and about 30 seconds later you come to your senses and still get the punch line of the joke your friend was telling. Sure you missed a little bit of it, but you were there for the important part. I thought I could slip right back in where I left off.

I'm 8 months into my service, already about 30% done. It feels like just yesterday that I came to Namibia with no idea what I was doing with my life. But, in that time I've already missed so much back at home- One of my closest friends married the love of her life in Hawaii. My sister found out she was pregnant and is now almost halfway through making the next little badass to our family. My best friend, Heather, got engaged to her best friend/boyfriend of almost a decade. My Deb is finally becoming Mrs. Tortelloni. I've missed 8 birthdays (Poppa's, Meredith's, Lena's, Morgan's, Linda's, Nini's, Stephanie's, and Michelle's). Holidays have come and gone without me. I missed like this entire season of Scandal. Taco Bell has these new 'Boss' nachos I don't even understand. And that's not the end, I still have another 19 months of things to miss ahead of me!

In all seriousness though, I finally get it. I'm not going to be able to slide back into the spot I left behind. My friends and family won't be in the same place where I left them. But I also understand now, that I won't be the same person as the one that said goodbye and hopped on a plane all those months ago. I've changed in ways that I think only this experience would have produced. I have new priorities and goals, I'm truly figuring out what I want in life and how to get it. I've made a whole new group of friends who have inspired me to reach deeper and try harder to be a better person. I have met people who made my previous problems seem so small and irrelevant. I've learned to be thankful.

Am I sad that I've missed time with the people I care about the most? Absolutely. But time keeps on moving whether I like it or not, so I should at least make the most of it. For every moment or big event I miss with family and friends, I need to make a difference or memory here. When I get back, I can share my experiences over the past 27 months with my loved ones and they can share theirs. I'll be there for their next big moment- like weddings, birthdays, and new additions to families. Or for just the regular old daily life things, like waiting in line at Starbucks together. Time didn't stop, but we still have plenty of life to enjoy together. 

Let the holidays begin!

This past week has been a whirlwind of combi rides, festive drinks, and greetings (where I immediately forget the person's name after). It started out with a trip to Keetmans, where myself and several other volunteers were able to celebrate Thanksgiving together. It definitely had a Peace Corps element to it, since most of the items were cooked in shifts with a toaster oven. But all of the food turned out well and we even had homemade pumpkin pie to boot!

Soon enough, it was time for all of us to travel up to Windhoek for the 25th anniversary of Peace Corps Namibia. All 132 volunteers gathered in a swanky hotel, where we were fed a proper buffet every meal, given access to a chilly pool, each room had an air conditioner, and we even had a few informational sessions (those were less important though, if I'm being honest). I met so many other members of our little Namily, I couldn't keep them all straight. To credit my other Peace Corps members, very few of them annoyed me. And that's saying a lot, since I tend to be kind of cranky around large groups of people.

At the conference, I was also able to introduce some other volunteers to mine and Julia's project. They seemed impressed with our mission and progress so far. We almost sold out of all the bags we brought with us! I hope in our upcoming training we have planned, we can get other volunteers to come and collaborate with us to make the project even more solid!

The conference ended with a very formal, very official ceremony to celebrate Peace Corps Namibia's 25 years in the country. Media was abound, speeches were made, and a musical performance by the Okahandja Youth Choir stole the show. The prime minister was even in attendance! After the formal event, we were treated to a volunteer/staff BBQ by the pool, complete with drink tickets.

By Friday morning, it was time to say our goodbyes and leave our luxury hotel life behind us. I loved meeting all of the volunteers spread across the country and hearing about their projects. But I can say, I was ready to be home! This thought made me realize, I think of my new site as home. I was ready to get back to work on the project, snuggle with my kitten, and watch West Wing on the couch with Julia. This is my life now and I couldn't be happier about it.

I am thankful for...

Although I have a bit of moral apprehension about celebrating Thanksgiving in the historical sense, I do think that having at least one day in the year when you count your blessings is a positive thing. It would be better if this was done everyday, but I know life gets in the way sometimes. Today I want to recognize just a few things, in the much larger list, that I am thankful for.



My friends and family
I am so lucky to have such a supportive group of people surrounding me. On a daily basis, they send me inspiring emails. When I'm lucky enough to be able to video chat with them, they make me laugh and cry and smile so hard. And about once a month, I get a heartwarming care package from them filled with snacks and hot sauce. I've said this many times before, I couldn't do this journey without them.

My cat- Miley
Ok, I know some people are going to call me a crazy cat lady now. But in all honesty, I am. I love my little mischievous lady and she is so comforting to me. When she's not taking the smelliest poops, she's right by my side looking for love and attention. Watching her hunt bugs around the flat or getting her paws caught on things is a constant source of entertainment.

My roommate, my bestie, the Taco to my Nacho- Julia
This insane lady is by my side 24/7. (Like literally, sometimes we fall asleep next to each other.) Listening to her overthink her problems, wondering out loud when Josh and Donna will get together, making whale moan noises, and occasionally koala-ing me makes my life very interesting. But in all seriousness, I'm so glad I have such a cool person to share this experience with.

My community
I love my new site. I really couldn't be happier with my new placement and project. I finally feel like I am working towards a goal and making a lasting impact on the people I work with. Everyone here has been so welcoming. Aside from a few crazies and annoyances, this town is starting to feel like another home to me. Plus there is the cafe where I can get a bacon, avocado, chicken burgers daily (and do)- so bonus!

Peace Corps
As much as I can complain sometimes, I am incredibly thankful for this experience and I wouldn't be here without Peace Corps. After months and months of waiting and paperwork, they selected me to come to Namibia. They essentially helped me make a lifetime dream come through and my life will be forever changed because of them.





Again, these are just a few of the major things I am thankful for this year. My list goes well beyond these pieces of my life.



Honorable mentions include: West Wing, air conditioning, Cholula, Mindy Kaling, iced coffee, pumice stones, sunshine, homemade popcorn, my kindle, Texas A&M, Buzzfeed, avocados, Mr. Bates, Justin Bieber's Sorry music video, mug cakes, my Nalgene- and many, many more.