Simple things that create (my) happiness

Like give-up-and-pass-out-in-a-yard rotten

Some days, I may be feeling rotten. There are a myriad of reasons why that might happen; my project is a mess and my students don't show up, I got in a fight with the postman, or I burned my dinner and don't have anything else left to cook. And in moments like that when all I want to do is turn on a Nicholas Sparks based movie and cry, I have to reach deep and find the little things that will make me happy. Sometimes it can be incredibly difficult to remember that list in the moment, so I thought I would type that list out for myself... and for your casual enjoyment. Welcome to my happy place! (Please leave your anger and haterade at the door.)

1.     The opening credits of The Newsroom
2.     When I get to Spar just in time for warm garlic rolls
3.     A text from my bestie that perfectly describes how she just gets me
4.     Making fun of the tourists with the locals
5.     Anytime I get to Facetime with my badass niece and we argue debate about Harry Potter
6.     Sitting outside reading an entertaining book and absorbing all the sun I can
7.     An email from a friend back home, just letting me know they miss me
8.     Any Buzzfeed article that involves cats
9.     Getting my Instagram filters just right to create that perfect blend of artistic and candid
10.   When I am hangry and remember I have a Little Debbie hidden away from a previous care package

11.    If I choose a random playlist on Spotify or 8tracks and it turns out to be perfect, like it's in my mind or something
12.    Anytime learners ask me questions and it's not to request money
13.    Leslie.freaking.Knope14.    When I see my students at Spar and they introduce me as their teacher to their coworkers
15.    A nice relaxing bath with scalding hot water
16.    Anytime I am pantsless with a rad pair of socks on my feet. It feels very Risky Business and very right.
17.    Discovering a new American product in a local store. Like M&M cookies at the gas station and Snickers at Clicks
18.    Putting an outfit together that is the perfect combination of comfy, breezy, and presentable

19.    When I notice I am out leg-pressing the guys at the gym
20.    Having a polite conversation with my taxi cab driver where they are inquisitive but not creepy
21.    Playing with babies... or puppies... or kittens... or anything soft and adorable

22.    Learning new curse words in Damara from the aunties at my project

23.    Getting a brilliant idea and remembering it the next day24.    90s paraphernalia and Lisa Frank
25.    Having an entire conversation in Afrikaans and understanding at least 70% of what the other person said
26.    Figuring out a new shortcut around town
27.    Curling up in the quilt my Nini made me and it still smelling like home

28.    Getting my side braid just right- a little messy but in a boho way, you know?
29.    My pedicure (that I gave myself) lasting more than a week
30.    When the avocados are already ripe at Spar and I don't have to wait 5 days to eat them
31.    Anytime the Fightin' Texas Aggies win
32.    Beating a level on Candy Crush that I have been trying to get through for over 3 days
33.    Sleeping past 7am on the weekends
34.    Seeing how ridiculous Afrikaners look in those little bitty shorts. Also getting a picture of it to add to my collection
35.    When a dog comes up to me and it's not to bit or chase me

So when you just want to curl up in a ball and become a hermit forever, find the little thing that makes you happy and embrace it. Whether it's rapping with Fetty Wap in your room or inhaling a bag of Peanut Butter M&Ms, get in there kid. Treat yo self!

Little Blessings

Living the Peace Corps lifestyle is not easy by any means. Some days you want to quit and you realize it's only 9am. Other days you think you have made the best decision of your life and might stay a volunteer forever. In our pre-service training, one of my favorite volunteers showed us an infographic of what a day in PC could look like. It was filled with ups and downs, like a roller coaster of awful and wonderful coming at you constantly. You really have to prepare for anything to happen; from waking up to a donkey on your porch, to finding out you no longer have running water, to being told by a small child that you are their hero. Your day and experience are constantly evolving. 

After a dismal Friday where I almost literally went 'postal' on a postal worker who refused to give me my care package and standing in a bank line for over an hour to pay for my 10k, I needed a little relief in my life. On Saturday, I decided to go to Windhoek to do a little shopping with my girl Cristal. The main idea centered around buying some ultra trendy harem shorts and crop tops, then ending the day by binge eating Indian food at Garnish until we could no longer walk but only waddle out of the restaurant. Sounds like the perfect day, right?

This guy would not
be driving me

Well first I had to hurdle the ever-annoying transportation system of Namibia. Hitch-hiking. This means I go to a nearby gas station and stalk the license plates of cars until I find one that is going my way. I then check the cars for my personal safety (and comfort) rules which are as follows:

1. The driver must not look like a creeper. 
2. If the driver does look like a creeper, then the passengers must have a larger ratio of women or children to men and they must look normal. I'm not about to get in a vehicle with 5 dudes and feel comfortable the whole time. (A really sad way to look at things, but my safety comes first.)
3. The car must look like it will make it to the destination i.e. has 4 wheels that are attached and at least one door that works. (Requiring 2 doors to work would just be excessive)
4. If the car looks like a sardine can filled with fish people, I'm out. 
5. By PC rules, only covered truck beds are allowed if I am riding in back. (Because a truck bed with a flimsy roof over my head, no seat belts, and 6 other people stuffed in it is sooooo much safer than an uncovered one if we get in an accident or rollover. *eye-roll*)

I did google 'hooptie' to
get this image

If the car meets at least 3 of the above rules, I'm in pretty good shape and I then approach them to see if I can get a ride. Now here come the negotiations. Unfortunately, because I am an American, they usually try to overcharge me at first. There are pretty standard rates that people pay from town to town. I know these rates and I am no fool. I am also on a PC budget so I am not ready to make it rain on these people. 

If we can get to a fair price, I hop in and get ready to be at my destination at some point in the next day. If we cannot, then I continue to rove the parking lot in search of my next conquest. Time is relative here and it could take hours and hours to find the right ride to where you need to go. 

So to get back to my experience yesterday- I went to the gas station at around 8am and begin my quest for transportation. I walked around the parking lot and tried to find a few people who might be going to Windhoek. Mostly I just stared at cars as they came in, smiling like a crazy white lady, hoping they might approach me first. No such luck. But I did see a bakkie come in with the right license plate and women and children in the back. I hesitantly approached the driver and asked if he was going to Windhoek. He replied that he was, so I asked if I could get a ride. When he replied in the affirmative, I got ready to battle the price situation. So I said, "30 bucks is fine, nee?" He looked at me puzzled and I was ready to start negotiations. But then he replied so sweetly, "We are going that way anyways, you don't need to pay me. Just hop in the back. I'm sorry that it may be a little uncomfortable back there." 

I was shocked. He just gave me a free ride and in the least creepy possible way. I hope in the back where his wife, mother-in-law, and children introduced themselves. It was not uncomfortable at all. There was plenty of room and they had a mattress on the floor for comfortable seating. He then went into the convenience store and proceeded to shock me again. He had bought everyone a meat pie, including me! He was worried that I may be hungry. How freakin nice is that? I never thought I would be so lucky to have a stranger give me a meat pie and a free ride. 

We chatted for a bit while we were on the road. We had the typical conversation about Texas, where everyone asks me about the show Dallas and if I live on a ranch. (I always respond yes.) Then he asked me what I was going into Windhoek for. I told him to do a little shopping. He asked where he should drop me off and I just told him a local gas station. I could catch a cab to where I needed to go from there and they could continue on with their day. He then insisted that he take me directly to the mall, so I wouldn't have to pay for a cab and be out in the city which he thought was too dangerous. He drove me directly up to the entrance to the mall and gave me his phone number, in case I ever needed another ride. (Now it was actually not the right mall, but I was not about to correct him.) If I had my camera with me, I would have taken this family's picture for my future scrapbook or facebook post or whatever. 

It is little moments like this that I feel so incredibly blessed to experience.

Ladies Weekend

Few things make me happier than spending time with my favorite gal pals and relaxing by a pool with a fruity cocktail. Well, this past weekend I was able to do just that. I took a weekend jaunt over to Mariental to see some rad women.

Friday started off like any Friday does, with most of my students not showing up to class and a wave of disappointment. But soon, the excitement of being out of site hit me like a bag of rocks and I was ready to get over myself. Luckily, Sinthu and Melodisa had already arranged the best of rides from Windhoek to Mariental. So I was able to just hop on that party train and get to the destination with them. I mean this car came with real glasses, ice, diddle daddles, a small handgun, and all the Appletiser I could drink. What more could I want?

The blue???

After arriving, we got to see one of my favorite humans, Julia. The weekend was planned to celebrate her birthday with a slightly smushed cake. A little bit later, my babajie Catherine arrived and the party was complete. Our lady wolf pack was formed and ready for adventures. We went to the local Afrikaner restaurant, where I ate more pasta and cream than I would care to admit. Totally worth it though. Afterwards, we put all of the china mattresses on the floor and formed the slumber party properly. It may have looked like a homeless shelter, but it was my homeless shelter and I was damn happy to be in the middle.

Tanning, the usual

The next day, we lazily woke up and went to breakfast. And by breakfast, I mean I had a schnitzel burger and chips. Because that's what real Americans do. A little bit later we piled into the car and went on our big adventure to a local lodge. When we arrived, it felt like I was stepping our into a resort; which I was, but it was within PC budget since they were not charging us to use the facilities. The bartender wonderfully concocted our crazy requests which included a pink mojito, a Malibu margarita, and Catherine's bold choice of "Surprise me." I can say that none of us were disappointed to be sipping cocktails in a real pool.

Great face 

Later on, we peeled ourselves away from the refreshing beverages and cool water to enjoy some fine dining. Once we finished dinner, we noticed some springbokkies were grazing nearby. Like other white people, we decided to stalk them and see how close we could get. I would say about 50 feet away was close enough for us and them. We accepted the distance and went on our way. Once we arrived home, I had the brilliant idea that the birthday cake should be cut like a wedding ceremony. Thus, a staged photo session ensued and cake was eventually eaten. We relaxed in stretchy pants while watching Miley Cyrus ruin the VMAs. Julia experimented with some henna on my foot and it almost worked. (We know for next time that when the directions say let it sit for 10 hours, they actually mean 10 hours.)

Sunday was just as leisurely- waking up late, cracking some jokes, facebook stalking Group 42, and sipping on some tea. You know, the usual. Alas, I had to return home to my cats and no pants zone (aka my flat.) After even more food, we parted ways and I got in a random car to leave. The driver was nice, far less creepy than anticipated, and we had a silent ride back to my community. I arrived home to my cats' incessant meowing and the realization that they did not do my dishes while I was gone. What jerks.

I don't say it often enough, because I have a tendency to be slightly socially awkward, but I love these girls and our random times together. I am lucky that they invite me into their cuddle puddles and accept my eccentricities. Peace Corps is all about finding people just as strange as you are and making them your buddies. (They should really consider changing the slogan to that so people know what they are getting into.)

Let's play 20 questions

I have quickly found out that most of the people back home have the same questions for me. So rather than making up a different response each time depending on my mood, I thought we could just play my favorite game of 20 questions. That's right, it's about to get real deep and personal up in here. Watch out interwebs!

    1. How is Africa? 

Like the whole continent? I am not really sure, since I'm just living in Namibia. And even then, I've only been to about 5 major towns here. But I can only assume it's rad. I mean Namibia is stellar so the rest of Africa as a whole should be too, right?   

    2. Do you live in a hut?

I actually do not. I live in a super modern flat with a stove, hot water, queen size bed, and *gasp* internet. Not all volunteers live in a hut in the middle of the bush. Some certainly do and I seriously applaud them for that. But each experience is unique and each living situation has its own challenges. I am thankful for all the modern amenities I have (mostly so I can binge watch Parks and Recreation).

A picture of my compound

    3. Have you hung out with any lions or elephants yet?

Yea, I totally hang out with this cool lion down the street. His name is Moses and we are total pals, other than when he tries to eat me. No, I don't have any lion or elephant pals... yet. But I have been lucky enough to see some pretty exotic animals a time or 2 and hope to be able to see more. 

    4. What do you do everyday?

Well I wake up at like 5:30am, take a shower, get dressed, eat a bowl of Cheerios. Then I walk or take a cab to work, where I teach computer classes until about 12. After that I hang out and play with some kids that belong to staff members at my office. Then I torture myself at the gym for about 2 hours. After that I go home and surf the interwebs, watch a movie, play with my cats, read on my kindle, and make dinner. Then by about 7pm, I'm in bed and hoping to drift off to sleep super soon. Yup, my day is almost exactly the same as it was back in the states (except I'm infinitely happier here). 

    5. Is the food amazing?

A typical meal

Yes, there are some really good things. Like the chips (fries) here may be my favorite anywhere, except for Chilantro. But in general, it's really basic stuff. Most meals are some form of meat like beef or mutton with a starch like pap or pasta. Pap is a maize meal dish that is similar to grits. I don't think I really eat a Namibian diet, because frankly I don't care for meat or pap that much. So I make stuff I would normally make back in the states. See my breakfast taco recipe in a previous blog, I have that probably 4 times a week. 

    6. Do you have friends?

My Damara PIC

Yes and no. I have some amazing volunteer friends, that I am sure will be a part of my life for the rest of my life. They inspire me everyday and just give me all sorts of feels. As far as in my community, I'm getting there. I don't have anyone who I hang out with regularly, mostly because I really just like being pantsless at home. But I have some wonderful coworkers and a bunch of kids I play with who make me feel like I'm not a total hermit. 

    7. What do you miss most back in the states?

Other than all the food, I miss my dog, Remington. I can barely even talk about her without falling into a puddle of tears. She was my best friend and partner in crime for 4 years. She was with me through all of my major adult milestones so far. I gave her to my ex-boyfriend, who she loved like crazy. I am sure she is super happy and busy judging other dogs right now, but giving her away is by far the hardest thing I've had to do so far. 

    8. How often do you get to talk to your friends and family?

Keep being awesome ladies

Luckily I have amazing internet connection at home and work. So I email or Gchat with my family almost everyday. We don't get to webcam as much as I would like, but the rare occasions we do are enough to lift my spirits. Especially when my niece tries to be the HP Sorting Hat and wrongly put me in Gryffindor. I am not able to talk to my friends as much, because they are busy totally rocking their lives, but their emails are little reminders of happiness and all the feels. 

Daily facetimes with
this basic girl are gone

    9.  Are you crazy? Why would you ever move to a foreign country for 2 years and work for free?

I mean yes, I'm totally a nut. But my entire life I've dreamed of working in international development work in Africa. And here I am in Namibia, finally making that dream a reality. It's incredibly challenging and still not at all what I expected, but I love it. I know that I am making a difference in peoples' lives and they are making a difference in mine. I will be forever changed after this experience and I'm so lucky to have that opportunity. But yea, I miss money sometimes. 

   10. Can I come visit?

Absolutely. Is like tomorrow good for you? Yes? Cool, I'll see you soon.

   11. Do you feel out of place?

Nobody quite gets me
like this girl does

Of course I do. I am a white lady walking around speaking Afrikaans with a funny accent. I'm frequently referred to as 'wit brood' aka 'white bread'. I get stared at constantly and frequently people greet me with German, because I just must be a German tourist. But someday I'll just be another Baster walking down the street. People will know me for the work I do and my crazy amazing dance skills. (Or at least that's what I dream in my head.) 

   12. How close are you to Ebola?

So, so far away. Some of you in the states are actually closer to Ebola cases than I am. Like imagine Alaska to Texas, I think that's how far way I am. 

   13. Have you had any crazy anti-malarial drug dreams/trips?

Not at all. My dreams are definitely more vivid here, but I don't think that is a drug side effect. Doxycycline is often prescribed to people for minor sinus infections and things like that, so it's quite safe and doesn't have all of the fun peyote side effects. 

   14. When are you moving back to America?

Officially, sometime around July 2017. But who knows? I could decide to live here forever or I could decide that I miss my sister too much and move back like next month. Unlikely, but it's all a possible. 

   15. Will you ever have a real job again?

Hopefully not. Who wants to work for corporate America? Not this girl. After this I will be going to graduate school to get my MSW and living in DC; then I hope to work for a children focused non-profit.  

   16. But don't you miss tacos and burgers and sushi and everything else holy?

Every single day. But there is more to life than tacos, right? (I'm still trying to convince myself of this, so it's ok if you say there isn't.)

   17. What is the coolest thing you have experienced so far?

My first week in Namibia, I was able to play barefoot soccer with some local kids at the back of our training center. Again I had always dreamed of a moment like that and at that moment, it was my reality. I was playing the sport that I love with the happiest kids I had met, despite their extremely challenging circumstances. Honestly any chance I get to play with kids, I'm ecstatic. Who doesn't want to just make sand 'pies' and play soccer all day? 

   18. What is the saddest thing you have seen so far?

Honestly, look at those faces

I could probably list quite a few things. But I think anytime I see a child that begging outside of the grocery store, a woman suffering through domestic violence, or a person living on the street I am incredibly saddened. I wish I didn't see these things often, but they are almost a daily occurrence. Life is incredibly challenging here in many ways we could never imagine back home. But that has not broken the spirit of any Namibian I have seen so far. The people here are strong in so many ways, they just need opportunities to change their circumstances. And that is exactly why I am here, to hopefully help people get an opportunity to change their lives. 

   19. Can I send you a care package?

Always. Poptarts, beef jerky, and Cholula = happiness. If you don't already have my address, send me an email and I will get it to you. (I don't want all these creepers up in here knowing which PO Box to stalk. I don't need that ish.)

   20. But really though, how is Africa? 

Ugh. Did you even read anything I just wrote? Probably not. So I will just say it's rad and everything you expect from all the TV shows and movies you watch. My life is basically an Animal Planet documentary every.single.day. 

   

Dude where's my life?

If only it was real...

Everyday is like Groundhog day for me. I go to sleep at night, in my cozy bed cuddling with my cat. And in the morning, without fail, I wake up thinking I'm back in the states. Some sort of ninja mind game is played on me every night. I dream that I am back in the states and I wake up thinking I am absolutely not in Namibia for a solid 2-3 minutes.

That face though.

The variations of dreams is extensive. It ranges from having a classic lazy night eating all the junk food with my best friends and then I think I am waking up on their couch, to I am playing with my badass niece and she is waking me up in the morning with her goofy giggle and telling me I need to come see Mao. No matter what I am thinking about before I fall asleep, I dream of my life back in the states. And I wake up thinking I could for sure walk out, get in may car, and drive to Whataburger for breakfast. Imagine my extreme dismay when I realize the closest Whataburger honey butter chicken biscuit is about 7,000 miles away.

Who wouldn't want to be in a bed with these ladies?

Of course, I've tried to figure out the root of this and I would love to blame it on some form of malaria drug hysteria. I'm sure you guys who practice the art of dream books could tell me all sorts of hidden meanings behind this, like that I am rejecting the Peace Corps and wish to be home or that I am uncomfortable in my own skin. But I think it is much simpler than that. I have lived in the United States for almost 26 years and it's the only thing I've ever known. So it makes complete sense that I will dream of my life there. I have not seen and experienced enough of Namibia for it to be embedded in my subconscious yet.

We will be reunited

Maybe when I finish this journey and move back to the states, I will only dream of Namibia for a period of time. I could wake up wondering if my water will turn on or if Spar is out of peanut butter (God forbid). It's completely possible. But for now, I'm going to embrace my dreams of my previous life. It will be like a little part of me travels all the way back to AKate47's couch, a crowded Torchy's, or floating the river with H$ every night. It may be escapism, that sometimes leaves me hangry when I figure out I cannot get ramen or sushi at will, but it's a little space of comfort and happiness I will fully embrace for the time being.